Updated: Dec 5, 2019
We all have such happy lives on Instagram and Facebook.
I am not saying what we see there is all untrue. But there is a lot that most of us go through. Behind all the social pretense, there are most us struggling. I am writing this not because I want to discuss things from the past, but to open up and be more accepting to things. This post is about me and the tough times my family has gone through.
You may completely skip this as this is a strictly personal experience and may seem totally unnecessary for many.
There was a time when we all were going through a very rough patch. It was a rather long rough patch. It was mainly my mother’s demise followed by the tough times to cope up with the fact that we had to live without her and not see her anymore. For the rest of our lives! This happened about 9 years ago and trust me it feels as fresh as it happened yesterday. It took at least a year for us to get adjusted to our lives without having her around. We three sisters were very close to her. She was our closest friend who knew all our secrets. There was nothing we had to hide from her. She was our confidant. But after her demise, dad took over without even our notice. I wouldn’t say we weren’t close, but we didn’t share ‘Daddy’s Princess’ moment either. Until the time it was just us three and dad. It obviously didn’t happen overnight. He too, took time as he had lost his life partner. But he changed a lot. So much so that I started believing if a person can change this much then nothing is impossible. He started indulging in cooking, home care, self care, random things that would keep him busy and of course our long conversations. Oh, our conversations would go on for really long! There were times, he would simply get up in the middle of the night and wake us up just because he was too excited to show us something Fido did or remembered some random funny thing . That would drive us crazy but that’s how fathers are, I suppose. Fido of course was an integral part of our family. Our days wouldn’t start without seeing him wagging his tail to wake us up and our days wouldn’t end without having him snuggle next us in our bed. (Sometimes pushing my sister out of bed too)
But about 4 years ago my retired dad got diagnosed with cancer and that completely shook us. My father was a non-smoker, non-alcoholic (for the last 15 years), practiced yoga religiously, ate healthy and was active like a kid but when its cancer, it completely breaks you down. Not just you but your entire family. Cancer is really painful. Physically, emotionally and financially. It drains you out completely. Everything revolves around chemotherapy sessions, its timings, the before and after chemo care and all the running around to and fro hospitals. We were struggling with all this with our full-time jobs to manage. It was really testing times of our lives. He was very confident that he would overcome it. The man was full of optimism and hope. He almost managed. But then things got out of hand and cancer took him away from us. No matter how many articles you read or how careful you’re about your health, when cancer hits you there’s hardly anything you can do about it.
Within a year of my father’s demise Fido started losing his will to live too. He started showing signs of depression. He used to be home alone after dad’s death. We did everything possible to give him maximum time but that didn’t suffice.I would really want people to understand who wish to have a dog, you must have someone home who will be their companion. Not simply to take care of the dog. They need your company and time. They deserve your attention and anything less than that leaves them devastated. We tried everything possible but we lost him three years ago. He was our kid whom we had raised with all our love and soul.
Such bad incidents in life shake you up, leave you helpless and yet demand you to be strong. My parents made us three sisters strong enough to face any hurdles in life but no matter how strong you are, when you come home to an ’empty house’ filled with memories it haunts you. And it haunts you for good !
We get so busy in our lives, rather pretentious lives full of social media and everything else; we have stopped conversing with real people. #familygoals #couplegoals #travelgoals have taken up all the space in our brains. We need to simply slow down and enjoy a hearty conversation with the family and friends. Those who have parents, you are really very lucky, you must tell them that you love them. And mainly ‘show’ them that you love them. Because they are getting old and they need you. Once they are gone, you’re left with only memories. So please, love them as you are all they have. Their little world ❤